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Our Latest Yankee Villian

Richard Rawson
5/8/2009

Yankee Villains. So many come to mind. Of course there’s the Disgraced One, Roger Clemens, who may soon have more perjury charges to his record than Cy Young Awards. The day goofball Johnny Damon put on the despised pinstripes was the day Sox fans everywhere rightfully turned on him. Then there are the mainstays, Mariano Rivera and Jorge Posada. Scott Brosius always irked me, as does walking punchline Alex Rodriguez. Jason Giambi and the other dozen or so Yankees reportedly using performance-enhancing drugs when they won their last championship rank right up there. Truly, if the old Yankee Stadium was the House That Ruth Built, the new stadium is the House That Juice Built.

This brings us to the most reprehensible Yankee in modern history, Joba “the Sloba” Chamberlain. Joba was best known in Boston for throwing fastballs in the vicinity of Kevin Youkilis’ cranium. However, after his latest episode, Joba has become Yankee Enemy #1.

Having pinpoint control this past Tuesday night, Chamberlain took it upon himself to intentionally plunk the red-hot Jason Bay. Naturally, Bay launched a three-run blast in the first inning, jumpstarting the Sox. Why challenge a dangerous hitter in a late-inning situation when you can just drill him, right?

Over the past year, we’ve seen what Chamberlain is all about. Whether it’s his infamous DUI arrest during the offseason or throwing fastballs at an opponent’s head, Joba’s legacy is obviously that of putting people’s lives in danger. Where was this wreckless behavior learned? Our answer may have come earlier in the week, as we learned Joba’s estranged mother was arrested for allegedly selling methamphetamines.

Photos of Mama Chamberlain’s mug-shot revealed the same swine-like features as her son. Maybe Joba’s emotions were running wild, realizing Mama was going to be locked up for Mother’s Day.

I think all of us knowledgeable Sox fans know how this story will turn out. The Yankees will need Joba to help in their pathetic bullpen soon enough. Let’s just hope the salary for a reliever will still cover his mother’s attorney bills.

4 comments:

  1. I was shocked Beckett didnt retaliate for that blatant beanball. Tito must have insisted he didnt, fearing another suspension of his ace. I kind of like have Joba around though, just because he's so hatable, im waiting for the day Youk pulls a Trot Nixon and "accidentally" lets go of his bat in Joba's direction

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  2. ahahaha i hear ya anon...rest assured there will be some retalition down the road..its a long season!

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  3. HOW CAN FANS WITH TWO LOUSY CHAMPIONSHIPS IN 100 YEARS BE SO ARROGANT?
    ttl

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  4. Dude...Joba is a joke and so are the Yanks!

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