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Last Place Fever

All my compatriots at work have noticed it. "Hey man, are you feeling okay?" "Yeah sure. I say this , but the bags underneath my eyes reveal i have something serious. "Are you sick?" "Nah, I will be okay," I mumble. The fever came last week but this week it hit a crescendo. Just when I think I am coming into recovery, the wave hits me again. I am sick and it is my beloved Sox that are making me ill.
I cant believe the run of luck that has led them to last place. Ugh, the pitching is atrocious and the hitting is like a punch and judy sketch. Beckett gets suspended for 6 games, Dice looks tired and couldnt even get me out, Pedroia can't hit himself out of a paper bag, we've gone through two shortstops in a week or so, Lester looks awesome until he gets into the second or third inning, I am still waiting Jacoby...... Paplebon seems boring to watch this year not fire in his belly.
We suck this year so far even worse than the Yank-mees, no on second thought, our record might be worse but they will always suck more. I am sure once we get back to Beantown things might look better. At lease Wakefield made one game interesting. I hate it when they are on the left coast and go into extra innings. I should be in bed dreaming of something nice instead or listening to WRKO screaming at my computer screen at midnight. My cat just looks at me licks his paws and goes back to sleep as if to say, "Get a grip human." It's just a game."
I know next week is the first Yankee series. I cant wait. I will be down at my favorite watering hole trash talking a couple of Yankee fans , but you know it is going to feel mighty weird trash talking from last place.


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